He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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