that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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