I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize