I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
