You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
