i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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