Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
