Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
