Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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