'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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