I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
