I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
