mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize