Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
