Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
