I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize