her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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