He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
