so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
