Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
