I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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