I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
