Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
