sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
