Little spoons don't ask big questions
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize