So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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