did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
