If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize