What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
