We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
