My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
