Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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