At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
