we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
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