My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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