walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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