I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
