so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
