is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
