He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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