420 ftw
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize