Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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