Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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