end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
