? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
