Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
