so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
