Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
