DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
