My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
