He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You were trust falling into bushes
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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