No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
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you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
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And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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