But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
