I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I AM VODKA MAN
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
