I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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