whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize