Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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