The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize