I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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