I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
foreskin is a definite game changer
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
