i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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