I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
