I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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