But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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