just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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